Don’t be silly. I don’t need rescuing.’ ‘Elspeth, you’re not thinking straight. Look at you. You’re eyes aren’t focused, you’re grinning like an idiot, can’t you see what they’ve done to you?’ Elspeth really wanted nothing more than to sit back and savour the feelings of well-fucked satisfaction still washing over her, but it was obvious Laura would not leave her alone unless she pulled herself together and proved she knew what she was doing. ‘Look, Laura,’ she said in a much firmer voice, ‘there’s nothing wrong with me except I’ve had an amazing fuck. You don’t know what it’s like, I’ve got this lovely warm tingle all over my body and I feel so alive. It’s wonderful, Laura, you’ve just no idea how wonderful.’ ‘Not wonderful enough to lose your brain for.’ ‘I haven’t lost my brain.’ ‘Maybe I’m the better judge of that.’ Elspeth was beginning to get annoyed now. ‘Laura, why can’t you just accept what I’m telling you?’ Laura’s reply was evidently a quote – from where, I had no idea,. I worked late every night, and had only limited interaction with Amy.The problem was my sleep time. As well as I avoided worrying about my problems during working hours, they seemed to take over my mind during sleep. I had weird, half-remembered dreams. I relived both rape sequences in my mind over and over again. Most disturbing, the scenes evolved, until I was not only enjoying the sex, I was initiating it. Though only shadow memories in the morning, this seemed to reinforce my contempt for myself, my conviction that I was poison to Amy.By Friday, my thoughts were so negative I could not bear to face Rick, so I just remained buried in work. I did take a break to run down to Dr. Myers office to get blood drawn though.By Saturday night, I had a good high level plan for what I would do for this phase of the contract, but was stalled waiting for a response to the issues I had sent. All I could do was wait. But I needed the break by now. I had been pretty worn out when this work.
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